How should I tell my child about the death?
Every child and family is different. The answer to this question varies depending on the child's age/developmental level, the nature of their relationship to the person who has died, the circumstances of the death, and other factors. You know your child and your family best, so use your best judgement. When a loss occurs, our first instinct as adults might be to protect children by not telling them what’s happened. This urge to protect is understandable, but it is more helpful and supportive to tell children the truth, in language they can understand. Knowing the truth reduces confusion and also lets children use their limited energy and inner resources to adjust to the loss instead of trying to figure out what happened. Even babies and very young children will know that something is different when someone in their life is ill, has died, or is no longer living with them or caring for them in the same way. To help with comprehension, use clear, concrete, body-centered language. Even though these discussions can be hard to have, being honest and open is an important first step in helping grieving children. Click below for an informational packet about talking to children about death.
Resources For Explaining Death to a Child
Even with lots of tips, talking to children about grief and death can be emotionally taxing, especially if you are grieving yourself. Try to pay attention to your own feelings that pop up during these conversations and make space to tend to them in whatever way feels most appropriate for you.
Explaining Suicide
Explaining a death from suicide to a child or teen can feel overwhelming and intimidating. As adults, we often want to protect them from the stigma and shame that can accompany such a death. Click below for some tips for talking with children and teens about a death from suicide and ways to support them as they grieve.
Resource For Explaining Death to a Child (Suicide)
Supporting Children & Teens After A Death From Suicide
Explaining overdose/substance abuse to my child?
When someone dies from substance use, explaining it to children and teens can feel overwhelming and intimidating. This is especially true when our urge is to try to protect them from the stigma and shame that can surround this type of death. Click below for some tips for talking with children and teens about a death from substance use and ways to support them in their grief.
Grief is unique to each person and every family. Please adapt these suggestions as needed.
Resources For Explaining Death to a Child (Substance Use)
Supporting Children & Teens When Someone Dies from Substance Use
Explaining Cremation
Explaining cremation to a child can be daunting. The most important part of this conversation is to remain calm and approach it in a way that makes the child feel at ease. Children can sense the emotions of their caregivers, so if you are anxious or worried, they are more likely to approach the topic with fear. The next most important part is to make sure children understand that the body being cremated does not think or feel like it did when the person was alive.
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